Throw out the rule book

” I don’t know if you have noticed, but you have been in a better mood.” My husband said offhandedly.

It has been two weeks since we moved back to Manchester. Two weeks since we left the stress of Greenfield behind. Things are better, and I feel happier. It was hard decision to make. We had to take a BIG step back. Yet the positive change in my metal health is showing that it was the right choice.

My marriage has also seen positive changes. The stress of our last place was killing us. Yelling has been replaced by talks and laughter. We have begun to work on our building our relationship again. Greenfield was a negative time for us. I am thankful to be in a positive place in my relationship again.

I didn’t really think of it until he said something. Suddenly I feel free. There is a calm that has overtaken me. I have spent more time engaging in self care. My eyes have also turned to the future in a meaningful way. For the first time in months my head has broken the surface, and I can breath.

I wanted to give an update on everything. The move has made things better for us. It was a chance to downsize, and reevaluate things. It has given us an opportunity to change things. I am treating it as the start of something incredible. I am back at baseline. The foundation we are building we be stronger than ever. This time I am throwing out the rule book.

This is my life, and I finally intend to live it my way.



Summers End and New Beginnings

Here in NH, Fall is upon us. The days are getting shorter, and I find that it is dark when I get home from work now. It is bittersweet, but I am looking forward to the changes. I am looking forward to the leaves changing and bitter winter storms that will follow. Our summer was long and hot and sunny, it is time for a change.

Things are changing personally again too again. I have decided to keep this site but as my personal blog. I will still be posting, but it will be different. This will be a free area where I write down rambling and stories thoughts, and fears. One things that will be coming is my first set of Halloween stories, beginning in October. Last year Deep River did so well, that I decided to write more scary stories. I will be bringing them to you every Sunday of October, so look for those!

On the professional front I have some really exciting stuff coming. I have been working on developing North Pack Media. I want a place where I can display my pictures and writing. It will be based around Nature and Americana. I will have a blog and some galleries to display some of the pictures I feel like I have found a way to combine my writing and photography and my love of old lost and forgotten things. I hope that I will find a niche, and the venture takes off. My dream is to create a job around something that I’m passionate about. Now I am juts finally getting around to making the plans and putting them into action.

Thank you for following along on all my adventures. There will be more to come, and I will give you more updates. Also the first Halloween story will be coming on Sunday.

Have a great week everyone!

Moving on

Hey everyone, sorry once again for the hiatus. I have been on vacation, and once I got back I was busy making plans. Vacation made me once again realize that I do not enjoy the 9-5. I want more out of life, I want a career that challenges me, even if I have to built it myself.

I have made some plans, and done some studying. I took some steps back, with both my writing and photography. but now I’m back, and I am excited about the future.

There will be more updates soon folks, I look forward letting you know,

Colleen

Night Pictures

Life is pretty good right now. Getting ready to cook dinner then go for a quick hike for sunset. Recently we moved from Manchester to the Monadnock Region. I have been much happier since we moved out here. I have never really been happy in the city. It also enables us to spend much more time outside. People are kinder out here, and overall it is a better quality life.

The weekend went by quick as usual. Today was the first day I have taken off from taking pictures since Friday. I figured I should take some time to edit some stuff. I am about halfway through editing photos now, just have to figure out what to do with them. Like I have mentioned before, it is going to take a backseat to my writing. It is more of a hobby right now as I hone my skills. But who knows, stranger things have happened. Maybe that will take off first. I’m really open to anything.

 

DSC_9885

Photo By Colleen Ann for North Pack Media

I go back in forth before writing and photography. Art helps me balance life out. Both help me feed my creative side, yet they do it in different ways. It is inevitable that I need time off. I like to be busy, I like projects, yet I also recognize that I do need to momentarily step away. If I don’t get burnt out and my performance suffers.

I had been working on a piece of fiction that hopefully will be published in the Fall. It was fun working on it, but after two weeks of intense editing I needed a break. So I have been taking photos lately. I am really excited because I have taken some awesome night shots. They are nothing compared to some folks night shots, but they are a start. It was the first time I had even taken night photos, so I was happy I even got the stars. You have to start somewhere right?

DSC_9914

Photo By Colleen Ann at North pack Media.

So I hope that all of you are doing as well as I am. I hope that you are finding time to do the things that you love. Have a great week and follow your dreams!

Summer Rest

We are finally getting some rain here. We had a dry Winter that has continued into a dry Summer. It first it was glorious, yet now the plants are brittle and the lawns are brown. We have needs this rain. Today it has been cool and rainy, a nice change. I enjoy the cool weather, it is a relief.

Life has been more of the same, working with a smattering of writing and photography mixed in. The weather has been so nice. We have been outside a lot and I have not done much writing. We have been spending the long Summer days enjoying all New Hampshire has to offer. By the time I get home, I am so tired I can barely keep my eyes open. I am happy, yet I also know that I need to work on my writing.

I just finished another article for Explorer Gear. I hope to see it out soon. I was also supposed to do another article for another group, but I am on the fence about it. I like the subject, but I am unsure of if I want to submit it. I have had mixed feeling about the organization it is for.

The more that I think about it, the more that they seems like a corporation. Their articles are good, but they don’t represent the state in the way that I wish to. I think that I may be better off showcasing my work elsewhere. Opportunities are great and exciting. Yet even at this early stage I have to be careful in choosing them. There are many opportunities out there, but you have to be sure to find one that fit you.

Originally I wanted to write for them. But I’ve had a change in heart. They don’t seem like they know the state too well. I hate speaking negatively, but I just don’t know if I want my work associated with the site. I think they do good work, but it isn’t in line with where I want my career to go.

I just think there are better ways that I can spend my time writing. I was actually thinking of the idea of starting my own magazine. I want to continue blazing my own path, and I’m looking for a challenge. Maybe that is what I need.

Successful Failure

I’m sitting here on a lazy Sunday afternoon, drinking coffee and thinking. I touch on my writing a lot on the blog. I write about my successes and my dreams. Its time I write about my failures. I was lucky enough to have an article posted with Only in Your State. They have been gracious enough to let me write for them. I’m proud of myself because it is a wider audience and I successfully pitched myself, But the first article had a bumpy start.

I’m excited to see the article up and published, but I made some rookie mistakes on it. It all comes down to me being careless and not checking on things. I know better than this, and am disappointed in myself. I need to be more thorough with my editing. Especially as my writing becomes more available to a wider audience.

All I have as a writer is my reputation. I need to ensure that the writing presented is perfect. Less than that is unacceptable. No article should be pushed forward unpolished, even if that means waiting longer. My personality is prone to impatience, but I need to temper it. My drive to become a full time author, causes me to rush. Yet by rushing things, I am only pushing myself further back.

So it is a bitter sweet experience for me. My piece is up for the general public to see, but I wasn’t on point. I’m kicking myself, but I also recognize the need to take the lesson and move forward. There is not too much I can do now other than pick up and learn from my experience. There is no use dwelling, but I will take this rough lesson and learn from it.

I want that respect as a writer, but I need to earn it.

Sunset Home

We had a good night last night. Dinner was ready when I got home, and we ate quickly. After we donned hiking gear, and headed up the mountain. Recently I moved out of Manchester, back to the country where I belong. One are my days trying to dodge heroin needles, and angry glances of people in the supermarket. No more sirens in the middle in the night.

Whenever we get a chance, we hike the mountain. It is not a big hill, but it is good for training. It also gives us a great view in most directions. It is a nice place to get away from the world. I wish I could spend more time up in the mountains. I feel total peace when I hiking, everything else fades away, and it is just me and the mountain.

White Mountains 544

We stood at the top last night, and I snapped a couple pictures. I then take some time to relax and enjoy the view. The Monadnock Region laid out like a blanket below us. It may not be the biggest mountains in the world, but its home.