Struggles and Plans

I had a grand plan.

I was so proud of myself during November, because I finished my novel early. The plan was to take the holidays off, and then afterward jump into editing. January first came around and I jumped in. Yet about a week everything stalled.

Editing is incredible difficult, yet this seemed impossible. Maybe it was because of the long wait, or external factors. The weather has been gloomy here. I love winter, but am ready for some sunshine. I’m not quite sure what happened, but it slowed me down. Self doubt crept in, and I wondered if the piece was worth editing. The amount of changes seemed insurmountable, and at times, it seemed better to walk away. I meandered around aimlessly as January turned to February.

That is the major reason for my absence, my writing has been struggling. I can picture the scenes perfectly in my head. Yet they never translate onto paper correctly. They have ended up being a pale reflection, and make me second guess myself. It has been hard not to equate my struggles to total lack of skill. I had to take a step back.

I stopped the edit, and took off a week or so. It seemed I was doing more harm than good. The last two weeks I have writing out plots, drawing maps and brainstorming. Slowly I have been filling those holes that seemed impossible. There has been a major plot update. I have also let my mind meander. Little subplots have sneaked in, and often if I follow them, they help me flush out part of my main story.

I have also decided against setting out a schedule. This goes against all of my training, but it needs to be done. To be successful this initial edit needs to be on my terms. I think I have found my direction, but time will tell.

What are your struggles? Let me know in the comments! Until next time, keep writing!

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