Going Through The Process

Hoping that the New Year is treating all of you well. I have been working on my longer pieces, manuscripts and such. I figured it was time to add some updates to the blog. I love posting updates, and keeping you all updated on things that I have been doing. WordPress is such a great community for writers. Your support and feedback have helped me so much. I want to be an author, and Contemplative Nostalgia has been an incredible platform for experimentation. I get great pleasure whenever you enjoy my words or my photos. In my small way I feel like I am making the world a better place.
Since November my focus had been my fiction. I am keeping up with the blog, but I want most of my effort this year will be devoted to finishing my manuscript. The biggest part of writing is figuring out what avenue I want to take it. Last year, I tried writing for others online. It wasn’t a positive experience, but I learned many lessons.

The experience was frustrating. I was writing but I was not working among a community of writers. I feel like artist have a mutual respect for one another that is hard to find in the outside world. I used a exchange where Clients would request work, we would agree on a price and I would do the project.
Clients were never clear on what they wanted. We would agree on one proposal, but the formal agreement would look much different. They would say a few pages then ask for twenty. Or they would need full citations, but never mentioned it. The business practices were often dishonest. I would deliver what we had originally asked for, citing our original agreement. They would become upset and often belittle me calling me dishonest, and other nasty things. The faceless nature of the internet allows people to be exceptionally mean. It was stressing me out, and I was never making enough money. Most important my writing time time was taken up with other people projects. After a few months I decided it wasn’t for me.

If something is going to take up the majority of my writing time and energy, I want it to be something I am passionate about. I went back to work, and devoted my nights and weekends to writing. In the Fall, I finally was able to finish the first draft of my manuscript too. I have dived in marketing and creating a platform to sell my work. With no outside projects I have ability to focus solely on my own projects. I have also come into a open mindset that allows learning and change.

This week, I created a new character that I plan on adding to my larger manuscript. I’m not sure where the inspiration came from for the character, but he will fit into the story quite nicely. I finished the story months ago. Yet as I have been thinking about it, I have had the increasing sense that there was something missing. My new character adds depth to the story, adds an undercurrent and makes my characters more human. It tied thing in very nice.
It hit me this morning, what I have accomplished. Even though it is still a work in process, I have written a book. Saying those words seem surreal. It feels incredibly good yet this is only the beginning. Its excited to finish a story, but it also brings a new host of questions. Once I finished it fully I will have to figure out where to publish it. Who to contact, how I should publish. The never tell you real battle starts when you finish the story.

The biggest fear going forward is sharing my fiction. I know I can do the work, and put in the long hours. Yet I am fearful that folks won’t like my story. I’m trying to get over my fear but it can be difficult. I am terrified that it won’t be good enough. Yet I know that I won’t have any chance if I don’t try at all. I look at how far I have come from last year, and it is incredible. I have really shown the world what I am capable of. Its going to be hard, but its what I want to do, so I know in my heart that it will be worth it.

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