Its a Tuesday night, two days down-but three to go. Its been a rough week, where I have felt like a bobber cast adrift in the current. I am helpless, unsure of my direction. I am fighting so hard to find the current, yet sometimes it seems so far. Yet I know that eventually I will get there, I just have moments of doubt.
Its is these moments when my mind drifts away. To the Mountains. To the oceans. The the far corners of New England that I love. I long to be outdoors. There is so much more to enjoy out there, that I want to get out there and see it. When it comes down to it, we only have limited time here, and we have to make the most of it. I have always said that, but up until the last year it has only been words. Thoughts jotted down on a page.
Then I lost a friend. She was the type of person that lit up a room. Laura was capable of so much. She was so busy with so many things, yet always found time to ask you how you were doing. Though my interaction with her was brief, Laura valued me at a time when I needed it. She was going to change the world. Yet one terrible decision by a drunk driver shattered that. Even a year later I don’t understand it.
I knew I had to stop pushing along. I had to blaze a path. Its when I began to write more, even nights when I was tired. The wild ideas had begin to take hold of me, making a quiet life impossible. I had become sick with Wanderlust. Until I have gotten out there and explored, I will not be able to settle down or keep a 9-5. I need something bigger than this, to satisfy me. I want to take these ideas and put them into practice.
I begin to remember why I am doing this. This thought that sustains me. It is this thought that drives me to push on, until I find the current. Sooner or later, I will find the right direction on the Compass and it will show me where I belong.