Feels Like Home

Phone Pictures 199

Ed and my father still hadn’t pulled all the bolts off of leaf spring on the truck. They sat on the ground puzzling out how to get the thing out. I figured I had some time to waste. I put on the orange sweatshirt my mother had pulled from the closet, and made my way out the back door letting go of it and letting it shut with a snap.

Its a small lot, not even a dozen acres. Yet it gives me room to wander and breath. As I walked down the slopping hill the trees rose over me. And suddenly I am surround by the place, by the smells and the noises. As I sit there my back against a tree eyes closed just listening. The silence enveloping me, calming me. In that moment feeling complete.

As I walk up the hill, I face the tiny stream that runs under the mossy rock and then curves before it starts its deliberate journey down the hill. It isn’t large by any means, just a small stream making its way through the forest. Its the place I grew up. I remember scrambling over rocks and dipping my hands into the cool water. It was a magical pool to me as a child. As an adult it still hold a certain wonder for me.

I wasn’t the kind of girl that grew up with princesses and dolls. I grew up running through the woods. I would build forts where small trees came together, creating tiny sanctuaries. Every night I would come home tired with dirty clothes and ripped jeans.

I miss those days where I would stay out till the sun began to set. My childhood was shaped by nature. Even to this day I cannot help going into the woods and looking around with a childlike wonder. Its very hard for me to sit still for long periods of time.

As I said I grew up surrounded by nature, yet as I stumbled into my teens, I began to lose that wonder. That awkward periods when peer pressure began to rule my life. Suddenly the approval of others seemed more than anything. I abandoned the stream and the paths in the woods. I traded them for shopping malls and time in the city. For a time I began to believe that my future lay down that path.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

I’m not sure quite when it happened, but the glamor of the city lights dimmed. I began to see the grime that lay between the big city lights. I came to realization that I didn’t need to go looking for a better place, that it had been in front of me the whole time. In that house I grew up nestled into the woods. These days I cannot wait to get out of the suburbs and back to Greenfield. I was a person that needed nature to feel complete.

I want to travel, to see the world. Yet it is no longer the cities I want to see. I want to walk through Yosemite, and stand on the edge of the Grand Canyon. I want to climb mountains and stand on the edge of a bay listening to the tide come in. I do not want to waste my time trying to accumulate pointless materialistic things. Instead I want to fill my life with places and experience, memories I want to write stories of these trips and leave them as a legacy.

Published by Colleen

My name is Colleen, and I am a writer and photographer from New Hampshire. I love exploring and discovering. I write pieces that focus around the history and landscape of New England, and other things that may come to mind.

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